Insecurity And Anxiety Get The Better Of You?
Do your insecurities and anxieties seem to creep out and haunt you?
Do they jump out and take you unawares?
Do they whisper in your ear that you are…
… not good enough?
… that you’re not doing the right thing?
… that if it goes wrong it is all your fault?
Does your insecurity come up as a voice from your past that you hear? Is it the voice of an authority figure in your life?
I just want to check…
Do you know it’s not really them talking, right?
I ask you this because I have got so angry and upset at that voice before. I have believed that it is their fault that their words are getting to me…. I have projected my upset at the person whose voice it is. I have blamed them. Detested them. I have punished them with my negative thoughts and words and the vibe I put out towards them.
But the thing is. It isn’t them talking. It isn’t them making you feel bad…
It’s all you.
It’s you doing this to yourself.
You may be using their voice.
You may even be using their words.
It might be that an exchange with them has generated this occurrence of feeling bad.
But if you want to feel better then you need to know that it is all you… It is you generating these thoughts and playing them round and round your head.
It’s f*cked up. Right?!
Why would a part of you want to hurt you?
It doesn’t make logical sense why you would want to make yourself feel bad.
But when looking at one of the most core things about human behaviour, it does… It is all about safety.
You are using the resources you have and applying them in the way you have been taught to, in order to ultimately keep yourself safe.
In a warped way you are doing the sensible thing and using the voice that intimidates you or gets under your skin so that you will listen.
You are using the words that will be painful to you so that you will listen.
You are emotionally beating yourself up in a f*cked up attempt to keep yourself safe. So that you don’t take the risks you are contemplating. To stop yourself from making the changes you want to make.
To ultimately keep yourself the same. To keep yourself small. To keep yourself safe.
And it doesn’t matter where you have got to in your life or what awesome things you have achieved. If this part of you is triggered it will do what it takes to sabotage you.
It might come out all guns blazing or it might come out in stealth mode and cunningly creep up on you, and whisper so quietly that you almost can’t hear it… But its poison is working on you just the same…
To make you start to doubt yourself… To trigger and feed your insecurities… To cause anxiety… Stress… Overwhelm
But ultimately this is all just you. A protective part of you acting up. A fiercely, over protectively loving part of you.
If you want to change this…
… The first step is to see it… You need to be vigilant. To notice whenever you don’t feel good, whenever your insecurities are triggered, and to check in on whether this fear based part of you is acting up and trying to sabotage you.
It may try to hide. To disguise itself. But you know better now. You can recognise that if the thoughts don’t feel good then this is your resistance, your responsibility and you are able to change it for better feeling thoughts.
If you would like more support to overcome the anxiety and insecurity that you experience then let’s have a chat. I would be happy to talk it through with you and share some tips so you can start feeling calmer and more in control of this.